Kevin Maguire, author of 'The New Fatherhood,' shares seven key habits for modern fathers, focusing on presence and personal growth.
Recognizing the Value of Time
In 2017, Kevin Maguire realized the fleeting nature of his daughter's admiration while working late in San Francisco. This epiphany led him to prioritize family over career, relocating to Barcelona and launching a newsletter, 'The New Fatherhood,' with over 21,000 subscribers.
Maguire's book, 'The New Fatherhood,' challenges traditional views, urging dads to measure success beyond financial provision. “Ask any dad, ‘What was the biggest transformational moment of your life?’ And he will say, ‘When I became a father,’” says Maguire. He encourages fathers to seize this opportunity for transformation.
Cultivating Mindful Practices
Maguire, now a certified parenting coach, emphasizes habits like journaling, disentangling identity from work, and using tools like Google Calendar to foster a supportive family environment. He advises, “Buy a notebook and write down everything that you notice,” highlighting the importance of capturing children's growth.
He also stresses the need to separate personal identity from work, advocating for a holistic approach to fulfillment. “Work is just one part of life,” he explains, promoting the idea of filling a 'bucket' with diverse life experiences.
Empathy and Emotional Intelligence
For Maguire, understanding and empathy are crucial. He suggests using mantras like, “This too shall pass,” and emphasizes empathy: “They’re not giving you a hard time. They’re having a hard time.”
He discusses the power of apologizing, sharing a personal anecdote: “I’m really sorry,” he told his son Bodhi after a misunderstanding, highlighting the importance of modeling vulnerability and accountability for children.
Building a Support Network
Maguire advocates for creating a 'Dadvisory board'—a network of supportive fathers. “My dad crew is like my personal Council of Elrond,” he says, emphasizing the value of mentorship and open communication beyond superficial banter.
He also underscores meditation as a tool for emotional regulation, helping fathers process emotions and respond thoughtfully. He recommends William B. Irvine’s 'last time meditation' to cherish every moment with children, aware that these experiences are finite.
Kevin Maguire's insights provide a roadmap for fathers seeking to redefine their roles in modern families. His emphasis on presence, empathy, and personal growth offers a fresh perspective on fatherhood.
Source: https://www.gq.com/story/7-expert-habits-to-make-you-a-better-dad
